Blues Win Inaugural University of Memphis Tournament By Dan Bernstein, 04/05/17

Prior to the Memphis Invitational, Bluff City Masters discovered that fielding a team for an in-town tournament is much easier said than done. Eventually, however, with some last minute commitments and help from Nashville mercenaries Mike Miles and California Josh, the Blues cobbled together a team.

Early on a beautiful Saturday morning, the Blues braved perfect weather to meet at the University of Memphis aquatic center. After a short warm-up, aside from discovering new aches, many of the Blues found that about half the pool was shallow enough for a little Walking in Memphis. A walkable pool could come in handy for those looking to get their daily step in or on the laughably small chance a masters athlete wasn’t at the very peak of physical conditioning. 

Bluff City’s first game against host team University of Memphis had a bit of a turbulent start during which the Blues realized they should probably RSVP yes to more practices. Eventually, however, the team became more in sync, and the momentum shifted further in their favor. The final whistle marked a Blues win 12-5. After the game, one fan who goes by the alias “Mom” commented that “the girls have some hard shots… yours was slow.”

The Blues’ match-up against a team from The Big Easy proved one of the most difficult of the weekend. Several lead changes occurred as neither team could pull ahead. After a tough fight, Bluff City narrowly grasped victory from the Green Wave 9-8.

Sunday morning, Bluff City went up against the Houston Cougars. Though the Cougars made a few advances, the Blues managed to repel their offense and finish the game 17-6. It was not a totally fair fight, however, as cougars are naturally repulsed by old men. 

Before the final game, in a turn of events befitting of Days of Our Lives, the masters’ trusted player-coach Kevin “Hips don’t lie” Heinrich was revealed as a traitor. He left the masters to coach the Baby Blues instead. 

The final game against the Baby Blues went down to the absolute wire. Despite the expectations that the Baby Blues would be flagging from their previous game against a heavily masters-infused Memphis, they came out swinging. A flurry of strong offensive drives from both teams quickly drove the score up. With the game so close at half, both teams made adjustments. Kevin made changes to his team’s offense and defense; the masters elected to make minor adjustments to their style of play and to yell at the refs more. 

After a tough second half, the Blues masters team narrowly vanquished the Baby Blues; Ben Addison credited the win to a left-handed, buzzer-beating, full-tank, gluten-free, organic, lob shot from goalie Chris Harris a mere two quarters earlier.

After some tough losses and close wins at tournaments earlier in the season, the Blues were quite happy to pull off a 4-0 record this tournament for their nearly 7 screaming fans. Thanks to Memphis for hosting a great event, to Mike and Josh for coming in town to play, and to everyone who came out to support the team.